Journal Of A Wannabe Writer

Ok so I havnt posted anything to any of my stories in the longest of times, and I do apologise but I come with good excuses.

1.) Since school started wayyy back in september my life has been madness, its been a really heavy workload so far and i've not even had time to do anything.

2.) I've been taking driving lessons, (hehe contradicts the previous line but you get what I mean) another piece of my precious time taken up.

3.) I have a job, enough said.

4.) I've been sick for the past 3 months and i'm actually going crazy. I'm one of those people who never gets sick and when I do I get it really bad. It started with a chest infection, so I got antibiotics then it wouldn't go away and I got medicine and it still never went away and then I got inhalers and now as of last week I took the flu and I'm still dosed.

5.) I have exams THIS WEEK or to be more precise TOMORROW.  Which will probably leave you all asking why the hell are you on this thing?

That is a good question, I seem to want to start writing just when I'm most stressed. I'm guessing its some kind of escapism? That is why I've nearly finished next chapter of Platonic Parentage ^__^.

So there you go thats my excuses, I have nuffin more to say

OMG I got my chapter back!!!!!!!

I recovered my chapter whoo and now I'm so freakin happy!

I am a computer wiz  :P

xoxo

TT____________________TT

Its.Not.Fair.

My brother turned off my laptop and I lost 2000 words of the next chapter of Platonic Parentage!

Words cannot describe how freakin pissed off I am.

I spent ALL DAY on that and now its GONE :(:(:(:(:(

Omg I'm in such a bad mood now...I feel so E.M.O        (-_\\\\)

Must go watch Lord of the Rings...-_-

Gah! It was turning out to be a good chapter too.

Jees I haven't posted in ages, well about my  wee doggie well shes doing really well now, she had a cast on her back leg which was so funny and she has pins in the front leg where it was dislocated. So thank-fully theres a happy ending, but the asshole, who ran her over and didnt stop, is our neighbour, and I'm severly pissed....

Moving on...I'm back at school and it sucks T___T ugh I'm just sick of the people and just everything...I have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore, its so annoying.

I haven't had a chance to write anything over the past two weeks due to being back at school and working extra hours...I'm starting driving lessons O____o 

So I'm working on a fan fic that I started ages ago and its going to be multi-chapter but I'm not posting it until I have several chapters written and I'm going to stick to that rule. Also I'm very confused about Raspberry Kiss, I want to write something original but all high school fics are so similar, I can't come up with something new... and its really hard to generate interest in a high school fic because the majority are the same.

I'm severely considering scraping it...but I never, ever wanted to bin a fic which hasnt been finished?  

My acne has flared up again and so has my stomach, I have access acid in my stomach which I am on tablets for (for the rest of my life!) and starting school has made it come back and thus leaving me feeling very uncomfortable in class, as for my acne, its not severe acne its so so but my spots are angry at the moment and its depressing me also.

You could say im in a very pissy, depressed, want-to-do-too-many-things-at-the-one-time, too-much-biology-learning, mood

  


Told you she was big and looked scary, shes a cross between a Labrador and Rottweiler

A few minutes ago I heard yelling from downstairs and I got up and saw mum, dad and his friend driving away, my brother was on the phone to someone saying Roxi's been run over. I was like what! Roxi is my other dog, shes scary looking but really a big softie it was strange that the first thought which came to my head when I heard the comotion down stairs was omg roxi has been knocked down.
I just knew it had happened with out having been told.

So as me and my brother sit in silence waiting to hear news from mum or dad I thought I could let out my emotions by writing. My brother got really mad at me for laughing and smiling when this wasn't the time but he doesnt understand that, its just what I do when I'm nervous. If anyone, even my parents are telling me off I'm trying so hard not to laugh but it's just something I can't help.

That leads me to wonder what happened, I live in the country-side and we own a lot of land which surrounds our house therefore its nearly impossible for someone to have ran her over and thats left us with the sick feeling that my dad ran her over. He would never forgive himself if he did, I remeber how upset he was when out first dog died, it was heartbreaking. Anyone who doesn't own a dog can't understand how it feels to love one and lose one.

I'm so worried the phones going to ring and say she had to be put down because I know a lot of dogs don't survive if they've broken their legs. Oh and another thing which I was going to blog about, I'm going on holidays for a few days and now i've just realised we may not be going.

I'm so hungry but couldn't be bothered to make myself something...ever get that :( It's like when you need to pee and can be bothered to go to the toilet :P

So I thought I'd list off some of my...

All time favorite FanFics

The Cherry On Top- ohwhatsherface

Change in Direction-Tasha Ashes

Fourteen Dates- Sakura Haru

Reliance- mysweetbabu

When Calls the Heart- belle2990

The Window- Silver Shine

Predator and Prey- Strings of a Puppet

Duty Before Honor- Silver Shine

Avenger's Destiny- Raven Ariana
 

I would strongly recommend reading them unless of course you are the author then you would have no need to do that ^_^

And I also finished my first fanfic after two years...hehe and I am rather pleased though its so funny how my writing was terrible at the start of it and now its changed so much, its a completely different style! But oh well.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3438746/1/Lost_on_The_Path_of_Life
 

I updated, I updated, I updated. I'm so freaking happy now. Yesh I have been writing all day and I feel mucho mucho better-io. And now I'm rambling caus I'm so tired and I just got home from work. But I had to get it out that I updated and now I feel happy... heres another pic of Lucy caus I finally figured out how to get images up onto this.

In this photo shes only about 6-8 weeks old. 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4438636/1/Platonic_Parentage

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1228184/eskeflowne
 

Based on this music meme snagged from everyone:

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

Be nice I'm not a confident writer, but this was fun nonetheless even though it's very rushed and I don't think I got the right idea...

So let me know what you think?
 

( Read more... )

I believe at some stage I may have said that I would be updating fanfic all the time and that because it was summer I would have loads of free time to write loads of fanfics etc... yes well I'm a big.fat.failure... TT__TT
 
I feel so bad that I didn't do anything over the summer and now its time to go back to school...I'm so disappointed in myself.

I've been going out every weekend to clubs and yes I am underage... but it feels kinda cool to be the 'popular' girl I used to be the geek who sat at home reading and writing all the time. I gave up going out for fanfiction but then I changed and now its going out over fanfiction...I miss the old me who liked staying in and writing.

So I started writing today again so hopefully I'll have something posted by the weekend and hopefully I haven't lost all my awsome readers.

p.s. Does anyone else watch Veronica Mars cause I freaking love that show if it weren't for Veronica I wouldn't get up in the morning...only started season two no spoilers please

Heres my cute little baby she just arrived on our doorstep how could we turn her away.

Hehe shes looks so scared but she was very scared for about a week cause some ASS had dumped this little cutie. Who would do that???

I'm so confused and tense, my exam results are coming out soon and I've been having nightmares. I 'm so worried that I'll not be good enough or that I'll disapoint people because every one expects me to get strait A's and thats not true. They don't believe me when I say that I honestly didn't do well in some of my exams.

I'm worried about going back to school as well. I could leave now and go to work but my parents want me to stay on in school and then go to university but I'm not sure if thats what I want. I'm doing maths, physics, chemistry and geography but they are all tough subjects and I'm scared I won't be able to keep up with them. I don't even want to do them, I have no idea what I want to do. I'm the kind of person who needs a goal in order to work best. I need to know what I want to achieve so that I can work towards something.

I don't like free falling into the unknown. Having no destination.

 
I had always thought that I wanted a boyfriend. I mean its the only thing I think about, wishing I had someone to cuddle me, be there for me or whatever. So I was rather disturbed to realise that I'm terrified of having a relationship with someone.

The only relationships I have ever had with men are random hook ups on a night out, I've never actually 'dated' someone the closest thing I got to dating a guy was when I went to the movies with him, but I had already made out with him at a party and I was dreading the 'date'. Then I realised that I was scared, I had to actually meet one of my random hook-ups again.

So after the disasterous 'date' I realised how much I was scared of having a relationship with someone, I just cant do it, yet its all I ever think about.

I'm so confused...could it just be that I havent found that guy, you know the one that doesnt actually exist but we women pretend he does.

So I'm 17 and never had a 'boyfriend'...that's pretty bad.

My friends tell me that I have too high standards of who I want, who I'm looking for, but whats the point of going out with a guy who you dont like, who you don't want? Maybe I do have high standards but that just means I have to wait that bit longer to get the right guy.

I’m not sure whether this phrase is globally acknowledged but what exactly does saying bless you after someone sneezes actually mean? There are several theories but I doubt very much that the common person actually knows these. Why then do so many people say ‘Bless you’ when they have no idea what they are actually blessing you for? I mean some people think it’s rude if you don’t say bless you after sneezing.

So I will explain some theories and these of course originate back in the days where science was not very prominent and religion explained most things. The first is that people believed that a part of your soul came out when you sneezed so blessing you was protecting you from the devil. Another theory is that people believed that your heart stopped when you sneezed so again blessing you would make it go again. And another theory is that a sneeze was a sign of impending death so being blessed would prevent this misfortune.

These theories are all very obscure and clearly inaccurate the blessing you thing is just a tradition now. But I’m an agnostic and therefore don’t believe in anything religious so it doesn’t mean anything to me but I thought it was a very interesting phrase to which people say without even knowing why.

This also symbolises how easily people are willing to follow others without even knowing what they are following. Anyways I don’t even know why I wanted to blog about the mindless ramblings in my mind. That’s why I remind myself not to say all that’s on my mind :D

 

Bye!

I'm currently doing the zombie, whilst trying to type on this. You know when your fake tanning and you have to stand like a zombie until it dries...yes thats me because...IM GOING OUT whoo...Finally I have one more exam tomorrow and then I'm heading out tomorrow night cannot freaking wait.

I have been very good and updated LotPoL and typed up a one-shot. I'm currently working on the next chapter of PP so i hope to have it up within the week.

God I'm soooo happy I'm on my summer hols already its lethal!!!

Only two weeks left of exams...five this week and ONE the following week and I'm free!!!

Anyways I have so so many stories to write...I have a multi-chapter fic for sasu/saku which I actually started months ago but have forced myself to leave it alone until I finish one of my other Fics first...I have a good feeling about this idea and I want to give as much effort into it as I can. :D...bet your all dying to know what its about...or not...

I also can't wait to get my teeth stuck into a good kaka/saku fic, (no vampire pun intended) I have only written one-shots for this pairing and I really want to write a multi-chapter fic. So I'm waiting until a good storyline comes to me...but expect plenty more one-shots for both pairings in the near future...I love outlining what I'm going to do over summer..it actually makes me look forward to it :D

and...its actually HOT in Ireland for a change its beautiful here today...69 degrees!!! ... sucks that i have to go to work but oh well :D

I think I've blogged all I need to blog for today....I WILL have Lost on the Path of Life finished as soon as my exams are over ^_^...I think its about time it HAS taken over a year now :S...curse my lazy ass.

Anyways byebye and take care

mmmmm coffee...i really think that getting high on coffee before my exam is NOT a good idea...but its sooooo goood. :D

Do you ever find that when you really shouldnt be doing something its when you want to do it the most?

So i really should be revising for my exam TOMORROW but i have become obssesed with fanfic again...when i dont have anything better to do i couldnt be bothered with it and now that i really really should be revising im dying to get on it...and i'm sneakily writing at my own fics....not a good idea although i feel like it counts as english revision...as long as i dont start writing about Naruto in the middle of my exam... ^_^ (picturing examiners face hehe)

Must concentrate on exams and hopefully getting into a good college plenty of time for fanfic AFTER exams!

...i really should go...now... byebye

Ok so I've been getting quite a lot of reviews saying, 'update soon because it seems like you dont update a lot' or something like that.

I totally know that I don't update a lot but this has been because I've recently moved house and also I'm doing my GCSE's now (they're important exams taken in the UK) I'm doing fifteen exams and as of today I'm off school on study leave. My exams finish on the 10th of june and I promise, promise, PROMISE to have updated a least one of my fanfics that weekend.

I know it sounds like a long time away but its not really, trust me. I'm so scared of doing these exams...anyways I'm sorry for being bad at updating but balencing work, school and personal dramas is rather exhausing so I'll definately update all through summer.

So leave me a comment here or private message through fanfiction of which story you all want me to update first. Thank-you and love you all for your support ^_^

flowne xxx

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1228184/eskeflowne

Gah! I have my first exam in two weeks, TWO WEEKS, I have hardly any revision done. :S This is driving me crazy!

Enough thinking of exams....

I got my hair dyed whoop whoop. Yea its black/blue now and it tis pretty awsome :D

I dont really have much to say other than....i cant wait til summer because it means = loads of fanfiction time ^__^.  Cant wait to get back into writing again.

Someone very close to me died today, I hate this feeling. No one wants to have to go to a funeral, they're too depressing and I dont care if I sound selfish for saying that I would rather not go. I dont even want to think about him right now or i'll start crying all over again. I have decided that when I die im not going to have a funeral its too hurtful.